I’ve heard about the study where rats chose sugar over cocaine. It’s more than likely that I am addicted to sugar. I’ve had times when I stopped eating sugar, and I felt okay after a while and the cravings went away, but once I have one bite of cake, it’s as if something fierce and beastly is awakened inside me.
On Saturday, I went to my favorite coffee shop and ate a macaroon dipped in chocolate. I wish I felt that kind of bliss from yoga. The next day, I contacted a friend and asked we could meet in two weeks at that coffee shop, so I could have another macaroon. In the next two weeks, I might forget about it. Maybe if I win a million dollars or fall in love or something else monumental, I will forget about that macaroon.
This brings up the issue of lying. I’ve dated some guys who lied to my face. Nobody likes being lied to, but the worst is lying to myself. I keep telling myself that I can have fun size candy bar at work occasionally. I tell myself that I exercise almost everyday, and I’m losing weight. I can have a little chocolate once in awhile. Maybe some people can, but I’m becoming increasingly convinced I’m not one of them. Shit.
So, if I’m lying to myself when I eat some sugar by believing it won’t make me want more, then what happens if I get honest with myself about this? Smokers can get a nicotine patch. I wish I had a sugar patch to slap on my arm to wean myself off once again because I’ve fallen off the sugar wagon.
There are no national campaigns to warn and educate people about sugar addiction or help people stop eating refined sugar because lots of companies make big money off getting people addicted to sugar and keeping people addicted to sugar. There are no billboards with warning signs about eating too much sugar or anything really promoting safe amounts to eat. All I can do is focus on this minute, this evening, and not eat any refined white sugar filled with empty promises of helping me feel relaxed. If anybody has any ideas about how to get through intense sugar cravings, let me know.
I hope my blog inspires you to believe in yourself more and feel less alone in the world. I, for one, am inspired by the imperfections of others who continue to rise up again and again despite life's challenges. May we find ways to inspire and support each other.